Video

Give Me Faith

Give me faith
To trust what You say
That You’re good
And Your love is great

I may be weak
Your Spirit’s strong in me
My flesh may fail
My God You never will

This song has been speaking to me so much over the past week. I am so limited in my obedience and faith. Yet, I take heart in the work of the Holy Spirit and in God’s grace.

How blessed am I that He allows someone like me to partner with Him in all the wonderful and amazing things that He is doing? And in all the difficult and trying things that are still waiting to be redeemed?

Trusting Him in all things: the good and the bad, the praises and the difficulties. Believing in Him for myself, for friends, and for family.

Week 22 + Practice of the Presence of God

Week 22 + Practice of the Presence of God

Where has November gone!? Totally missed making a week 21 post and barely squeezing in this week 22 as today’s the last week 22 day!

How do I feel?

Sooo much better in general! No more nausea! Finally!! Still tired, but not as much as before.

It’s mind boggling that we are more than halfway there! Been feeling a wee bit overwhelmed because it seems like we’ve barely done anything to prep for the baby. I was looking at Baby Registry sites and it hit me that I know SO LITTLE about babies! Making the Wedding Registry was fun because we both had an idea about things we wanted for our first place together (what were necessities, what were nice to haves, and what were our pie in the sky items [ex. Vitamix!! which we did not get haha]), however with the Baby Registry I truly have NO IDEA what it takes to raise a little one. Eek!

In addition, there’s been a few moments here and there when I start worrying again about the baby. I used to think that when I could feel her I’d have less anxiety because I’d get a little kick now and then that lets me know she’s still there. But now that I feel her every day, I worry during the times when she’s not moving. Is she still okay?? The doctor said around week 28 I should be able to feel movement more consistently and we can start kick counting then, but all this anxiety made me think once again that there will always be things to worry about, and really I need to practice EVEN NOW putting everything regarding my baby into God’s hands.

Overall though, the moments of anxiety are few and mostly I’ve just been very happy. SO happy. Especially with Kenny haha. I’ve been feeling so grateful for him and I’ve been trying to enjoy this last season of just us for a LONG time (Lord willing!) as much as I possibly can. Also we recently heard some exciting news… can’t share yet, but so thankful for the community we’re sharing life with!

What’s God saying?

The one area I feel like I’ve been preparing fairly well in though is my walk with God. I feel like knowing our little baby is coming has made me focus on getting in shape spiritually. Like I better start building up my walk NOW before life takes on such a major change.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to live a lifestyle of worship and to practice the presence of God (shout out to the Kairos days when we studied Brother Lawrence’s Practice of the Presence of God… even if I was super irresponsible and didn’t read all of it! Side note… when I told Kenny this he was like “that’s pretty bad. You’re never going to find a Christian book shorter that that one.” Sigh. My irresponsible college days!!).

What would it look like use every single part of my day as worship to God? What would it look like to spend every single moment in communion with Him? How much more joy, freedom, and peace would I have if I truly spent every moment communing with Him?

Short tidbit about Brother Lawrence… based on what people told me haha (though seriously, just read his book– it’s not that long and I just might do the same over the holidays): Brother Lawrence was a cook in a monastery. Now I don’t know much about monastery hierarchies, but I’m guessing this means he wasn’t at all a big shot, just a humble cook. Of course he was a monk, so that’s gotta be saying something, but I’m not picturing him as the spiritual all-star of the monastery.

Basically, Brother Lawrence’s whole deal was that he strove to spend all of his time focusing on God and communing with Him throughout the day. As he grew in this practice, he came to the point where set aside times of prayer were unnecessary to him because he communed with God just as much during those set apart prayer times as he did when he was preparing the food or washing the dishes.

This is what I want in my life. So what if I’ve now (by God’s grace) been able to set apart consistent devo times at night? Big hoot. That’s such a TINY amount of time. It’s not enough!!!

I’m also blessed to witness this in part in Ms. A’s Christian life. What comes to mind is a funny memory (and a telling one!), but one time Ms. A told our Program Manager she’d shred all of his confidential documents. We’re talking BAGS of confidential papers that he had been stashing. As she sat in my office with the shredder, she started praying aloud as she was shredding. “Jesus, make our lives like this basket– overflowing with blessings!” as she emptied the shred basket out. She even prayed for the machine when it overheated and stopped working haha.

Another example that comes to mind is a friend who was telling Kenny how to improve his coffee. As He extolled the Hario Coffee Grinder (he said it would make Kenny’s french press 4x better lol), he also shared with us about a friend who wrote a liturgy to recite every morning as he made his coffee. (Ex. “I crush these beans as Your body was broken and crushed for me.”) Again, comical, but this is the kind of communion and constancy I want to have in my life!!!

Lord, give me a greater desire for Your presence. I want to live life aware of and in constant communion with You. I want my whole life to be a life of worship to You. So help me, Lord. For I cannot press into Your presence on my own, and my flesh will fight it as much as I want it. Give me more of You in my life.

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.”

Romans 12:1

Video

Ever Be Bethel Music

Your love is devoted like a ring of solid gold
Like a vow that is tested like a covenant of old
Your love is enduring through the winter rain
And beyond the horizon with mercy for today

Faithful You have been and faithful you will be
You pledge yourself to me and it’s why I sing

Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips
Your praise will ever be on my lips, ever be on my lips

You Father the orphan
Your kindness makes us whole
You shoulder our weakness
And Your strength becomes our own

You’re making me like you
Clothing me in white
Bringing beauty from ashes
For You will have Your bride

Free of all her guilt and rid of all her shame
And known by her true name and it’s why I sing

You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord
You will be praised You will be praised
With angels and saints we sing worthy are You Lord

Video

Show Us Christ Sovereign Grace

Prepare our hearts, O God
Help us to receive
Break the hard and stony ground
Help our unbelief
Plant Your Word down deep in us
Cause it to bear fruit
Open up our ears to hear
Lead us in Your truth

Show us Christ, show us Christ
O God, reveal Your glory
Through the preaching of Your Word
Until every heart confesses Christ is Lord

Your Word is living light
Upon our darkened eyes
Guards us through temptations
Makes the simple wise
Your Word is food for famished ones
Freedom for the slave
Riches for the needy soul
Come speak to us today

Where else can we go, Lord
Where else can we go
You have the words of eternal life

LOVING this song lately. I know it’s very elementary, but over the past few months God has been reminding me and reteaching me to really treasure His Word and invest in it. To be honest I haven’t spent much time in the Word for a while, but there is truly no replacement for it. I want to live and breathe the Word. I want the Lord to plant it deep in my heart that I might be empowered to live for Him.

“Words” (as we call it, or I guess better described as prophetic messages?) are great and it’s fantastic that God continues to speak to His people, but how do we treat God’s true and living Word? Do we value and treasure the Bible as much as we do the prophetic? Paul tells us that it is a great thing to desire prophesy and the prophetic is absolutely a gift from God, but have we put so much emphasis on the sensationalized aspects of Christianity that we’re willing to make the study of the Bible as lesser discipline?

What encourages me though is that one of the most widely recognized Spirit-filled leaders, Mike Bickle, is a HUGE lover of the Word (that fact comes from KY though as he has spent much more time than me listening to sermons from the IHOP leader). Mike Bickle lives and breathes the Word, which is what empowers Him to walk in the Spirit. And on a much lesser level, one of the most Spirit-filled friends of Kenny and myself is also the peer I see who is the most involved in the intense study of the Word.

All that to say, if I want to be a lover of Christ, then I MUST be a love of His Word, for He is the Word, and the Word is all about Him as this song says.

Lord, help me…

(And on a side note, I know Sovereign Grace has some well I won’t say haters, but “non-fans” [a couple are the people I’m closest too haha], but I just LOVE this album and I love how their songs from end to end speak scripture and are filled with the Word. Just a side note I guess!)

Video

“Be Still” Bethel Music

Be still my heart and know
You are God alone
Stop thinking so much
And just let go

Be still my soul and rest
Humbly I confess
In my weakness
Your strength is perfect

For You alone are God
There will be no other
And You have won my heart
More than any other
So I will give it all
Cause you gave it all for me

Bless the Lord
Oh my soul cries out
All that is within me praise
Bless the Lord
Oh my soul cries out
All that is within me praise