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The deep down needs that we have are truly a gift of pain. They create the ache that causes us to search. This doesn’t always “feel” good but if we allow God to go deep, the end result will be worth it. Husband and wife: be the person of understanding that will “draw out” from your spouse what he or she needs to express and understand.

“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out.” (Proverbs 20:5)

Mike Rizzo (Longing for Eden, 102)
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“Maturity includes having a healthy awareness of who you are, actually enjoying who you are, and taking responsibility for your own actions and feelings.

Recovery is facing and embracing your dysfunction. Getting in touch with your pain is the beginning of redeeming your pain. This is one aspect of being rooted and grounded. We’re not called to live in the wound, but to live in the promise where the wound was formerly attached. Depth of pain accessed will correlate to the depth of truth established.”

Mike Rizzo (on two personal keys to healthy relationships, Longing for Eden, 101)
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Marriage is not a lifelong attraction of two individuals to each other but a call for two people to witness together to God’s love. The basis of marriage is not mutual affection, or feelings, or emotions or passions that we associate with love, but a calling, a vocation. It is to understand that we are elected to build together a house for God in this world.

Henri Nouwen (via Mike Rizzo, Longing for Eden, 21)