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tembora:

musicalyrics:

I would like to think we are all much improved nowadays :)

Love this!! We should’ve stood in the same positions. Haha

Awwww my girls!! <3 Circa 2008 or 2009? Can’t believe we met at ages 18/19!!

And I agree, Britt, we have aged well hahahaha.

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“Lord I Come” By Billy Funk

All I want to do is dwell in Your presence
Drink from the well that never runs dry
All I want to see is the light of Your glory
Just one glimpse, just one drink
And my soul is satisfied

Haven’t heard this song since undergrad, but was reminded of it when praying for a friend. Such a beautiful song. I remember God using it to minister to me senior year. And it turns out I wasn’t even singing it right! Haha. Such good times.

Lord, You’ve been so faithful!!

All-Star

All-Star

Ran into a photo from back in the day. It was a picture of core team my junior year: the six of us college kids and PDub. I remember PDub affectionately calling us the “All-Star” team that year.

I can’t help but feel a strange pang of nostalgia mixed with sadness, looking at that picture, everyone dressed up, arms draped around one another, smiling ear-to-ear.

We really were the “All-Stars” of the church, or so it would have appeared. We were the most “holy” people. The ones who were always there, went early, stayed late. We were supposed to be the leaders of the college kids. Our lives were meant to reach out and challenge those around us to run hard after Christ.

I guess it just shows that appearances mean so very little.

Within one year, sin would destroy our happy little team. Things done in darkness would be brought to light. And God would sort out the wheat from the tares.

Sin destroys everything, my friends. This is why God takes sin so seriously. It truly is FOR OUR BENEFIT.

Sins of idolatry, pride, selfishness… they would rip apart those relationships captured once by a picture.

But there is healing. And there is redemption. And there is hope. Because God is good and gracious to us. But it’s hard to imagine things ever being like they were back then.

So what is this sadness and nostalgia? Sadness because I long for what we had back then? No… sweet as it was at the time, I praise and thank God for where I am today! Rather sadness because I simply recognize how my own sins helped destroy things that God meant to be beautiful.

Thankful this day that He is the Redeemer who makes all things new!

And that as He is beginning a smattering of new endeavors (exciting ones at that!) in my life, He is putting on my lips a new song of praise!

Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth.
Sing to the Lord, praise His name; proclaim His salvation day after day.
-Psalm 96:1-2

May my Lifesong sing to You in every season, day after day, in joy and in pain.

He is worthy, my friends.

Soli Deo Gloria
to God alone be the glory

Listening to: Humanity by Tim Be Told (Thank you, friend, for the music. And thank you, other friend, for the chance to see them live. Such a Christ-centered concert, such an AMAZING voice… even more so live! Support Tim Be Told!!)
Amaaazing.

Amaaazing.

I miss things like Kairos. And playing Assassins. And living so close to all of my bestest friends.

Things like small group. And women’s group. AACF. And serving.

Potlucks. Class events. Planning events. Semis.

Ugly dancing. Music videos. Trying to be “g.” Correction. BEING “g.”

Is it really all down-hill from here? Can’t be.

There’s gotta be more.

There IS more.

But man. There is nothing like undergrad at UCSD. (:

Thanking God for an amazing four years.

And moving on to more amazing things. <3

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MISSING THESE TWO. &then some.

But God is good. Slowly finding/building community in LA. Meeting new people, deepening relationships, reconnecting with old friends… and on top of that I’ve seen AACF ppl pretty much every week this past month hehe.

God is so gracious to me! I, who so took for granted my SD community.

“You know that moment when you’re surrounded by good friends and a great dinner and some bottles of apple cider?

That moment is really a holy, deep thing.

It really is. Story and laughter. A room full of people you’re very much in love with and just get to laugh and exaggerate old stories and eat great food.

It’s not just the stomach that gets filled, but it’s the soul as well. The soul drinks so much in.”

-One of the AACF sisters, a missionary in Taiwan (Hope it’s okay I shared this!)

Blessed so much with community. I am so undeserving. <3

Watching: Adam (Interesting movie expounding on Asperger’s. Haven’t finished it yet. Kinda sad so far…)

Beloved

Beloved

What’s more tragic than being single on a day like today? Realizing you missed the opportunity to bless someone because you didn’t follow the Spirit’s leading.

UGHHHH.

I thank God for His forgiveness. But still, that doesn’t change the fact that I could have really really blessed someone today if only I had listened and trusted and not been prideful/embarrassed/SO DANG LAZY.

BLEHH.

So. Singles Awareness Day. Aka SAD. Haha.

So why again is there a day like today? Oh that’s right. Commercialism. Marketing schemes. MONEY.

A pain for people who are single. And let’s be honest. At bit of a pain for people who are in relationships too. I mean. Seriously. Undue pressure. Unmet expectations. Last minute scrambling to throw stuff together… oh the joys of life.

Okay. End rant. Haha. (:

Visited San Diego this past weekend.

I’m much more content in LA, but gahh I miss SD so so much. I absolutely love Lifesong, but my home still feels like Kairos. I just love the vision of the church. I love the fellowship that I have there. I love being able to just sit and talk with practically anyone. I love the worship. I love the people. But I’m reminded that the God of Kairos, the God of Lifesong, the God of Living Waters, the God even of Evergreen, He is the same God. It’s all about HIM. Not about ME. And as much as He loves His church, His bride, how much more do/should I love HIM and be willing to gladly follow WHEREVER it is He calls me?

The last time I was in SD, I sat in the front of MMPC after service and just cried and cried and cried. Probably not for the reason people may have thought I was crying. No. I was crying because I just couldn’t imagine ever belonging to a church other than Kairos. After being a Christian for so many years, Kairos was the first church ever where I felt like I belonged, like we were family, like people genuinely saw me and cared for me. Which is not to rag on churches in the past– the biggest problem with them was ME and my own perception of how things were supposed to be.

But still. It was at Kairos that I found healing for all those things. It was the Kairos body that walked alongside me in the darkest times of my life. Yet there was God. Taking yet another thing away from me.

But I’m glad. I’m thankful. Because in this season of stripping away (this very long season I might add… but enough complaining hah), He has helped me see Him so much more clearly. In my bleakest moments, it wasn’t Kairos, nor the ex-boy, not even the friends that were carrying me. Really, it was MY GOD, perhaps using these different vessels, but again it was HIM who was really sustaining me.

And that’s why I can have contentment this Valentine’s Day. Where so many others are out, celebrating life with a person who loves them so dearly. I admit there is a bit of longing, but I can have so much more peace knowing that I have a GOD who sees me.

I will never lose His love. He will never abandon me. His eye will never turn from me. He is INCAPABLE of deceit!! He thinks I’m beautiful. He doesn’t forget a thing. He LOVES me with a love synonymous with commitment, even though He sees the depth of sin and depravity in me.

And so I’m hopeful. Life won’t be like this forever. This season isn’t forever. And even if it endures for this whole life, I look forward to the reward in heaven: being face-to-face with the Love of my life, the CREATOR of Love, my Bridegroom, my Savior, my King.

And in that day we will worship Him with all that we are, all He has made us to be. With tremendous SHOUTS and proclamations of JOY, knowing that we are the Redeemed, and knowing fully what that means.

Be encouraged this day, beloved!! We are LOVED not just by anyone, but we are loved by THE KING!!!!!!!

Watching: Ohh there are so many things I’ve been watching, but only one worth noting: The King’s Speech (Colin Firth was very convincing, but Tim Burton’s wife [totally forgot her name] was absolutely riveting!! Def one of my top 2010 films!)