First day of week 7.
This should mean only 5 more weeks of morning sickness left right?
Funny that the morning sickness started just a few days after the big reveal. At first I thought it was psychological, but within the last few days I realized it certainly is not.
How do I feel?
Bleh & tired haha. How’s that for a pair? I haven’t worried as much this week either as I think I feel to nauseous to do much else.
Nausea-wise smells don’t really get to me though I’m definitely more attuned to them. It’s tastes that get me. Or even thinking of how something tastes can make my stomach churn. If I eat too much of one thing all of a sudden it turns putrid. Even sweets! My beloved!!! If I eat too many sweet things in a row I feel nasty and am just dying for a salty cracker. Another example is my aversion to vegetables yesterday. I ate a salad then for the rest of the day the thought of any veggie-like thing was disgusting.
As I was trying to get through the day yesterday, praying for God to relieve the nausea, I started wondering what the purpose of the nausea is. Surely part of the curse of Eve, but is there a larger purpose?
The only conclusion I could reach is that nausea had made me slow down even more, and really take one day, one moment at a time. In a season where my mind could constantly race forward the next 8 months, here I am, being forced to live in the moment, clinging to God and asking for His relief.
I think it’s also kind of comforting because it still doesn’t really feel like I’m pregnant. All these physical symptoms are a bit of a relief because they hint that there is indeed a baby in there (and hopefully one that’s healthy!). On that note, hi baby! You are supposedly the size of a blueberry—woohoo!
Anxious. So I mentioned above that I haven’t been as worried, but I am still definitely still anxious (I use the two interchangeably, but worry to me seems more like active churning/dwelling, while anxious is just an underlying fear).
I think I’m a little disappointed too as I thought that we would have a baby checkup at our appointment on Monday, but it was more of an initial consultation to draw blood and run through some dos and don’ts. We now must wait another whopping 2 weeks (minus a day) until August 12th to see if everything’s okay. Sigh.
How appropriate then that yesterday’s youth Bible Study was on the latter half of Matthew 6… aka anxiety and fixing ourselves on the eternal!! Which leads to…
What is God speaking to me?
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will He not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. Fear has to do with punishment and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.”
1 John 4:18
These two verses were highlighted to me in the past couple days.
The first passage seems to do more with material things, but I think those serve more as an example and can be applied to anything. I especially like the verse that says, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” Can I add even a tiny bit of health to the baby’s life by worrying about him/her? Can I make it even the tiniest bit more likely he/she will be carried to term by worrying? No. Worrying accomplishes nothing. Worrying will steal my joy, take me from Jesus, and drive me mad.