I feel like the last entry deserves a little bit more explaining. Sorry, I’m long-winded as I’m sure you’ll find out.
You see for the past few weeks, I had an inkling that you might be on the way, but after a negative pregnancy test a couple weeks ago, I ruled out the option. Well, it’s been 2 weeks+ since then, and at your father’s urging I decided might as well make sure, right?
So this morning, I peeled my tired self out of bed (last night we stayed up late after a Seeds youth group goodbye for Andy plus when we got home I was hungry… again… hmm suspicious… and ate a bowl of granola… anyway long tangent!), made my way downstairs, and pulled out my $1 Dollar Tree test.
I kept telling myself, no, you’re not pregnant, because I must admit I was sorely disappointed those 2+ weeks ago and didn’t want to be sad again (little did I know that test LIED to me… there probably wasn’t enough HGH yet). Well you can imagine my shock when the color spread across the test and lo and behold TWO LINES!!!
I think my first reaction was “NO WAY……. WHAT?!?!?!?!” And a mixture of hyperventilating, freaking out, and excitement as I counted the months out and realized you would probably be a March baby, like your father!
I ran to grab another more sophisticated test, all the while telling myself the test couldn’t be wrong, and don’t waste one of the expensive tests, but still wanting EXTRA confirmation. Second pregnancy test… PREGNANT, 3+ WEEKS.
Again, more “what’s” and “no ways” and a delayed “whoa thank You, God!! I can’t believe this is real!!!!” And then freaking out because I’ve eaten so much raw fish in the few last weeks. And moments of realization like “no wonder I get so winded doing yoga” and “no wonder I’m so irritable at work right now” and “no wonder I’m so hungry and always want junk food… oh wait I’m always like that lol.”
And then I started pulling up webpage after webpage of pregnancy advice and what to do next, then definitely started worrying a bit, but then realized if I choose to worry and not trust God, oh man we have a loooong road ahead!
So here I am, at work. Going to tell your father tonight with the letter in the first blog entry.
Still worrying a bit at times about you, little tiny rice-sized you. Are you be okay? Will I miscarry? Is this real? But God’s assurance is one of my FAVORITE Bible verses, which came up on my Bible memory verse app (totally His timing, right?):
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
I love you baby boy or baby girl. (On one hand I hope you’re a boy so we can use all of Tyler and Dylans’ hand-me-downs for you, but at the same time I hope you’re a girl so you don’t have to use any hand-me-downs and we can buy you all next clothes hehe!)