Ya know. Every once in a while it still crosses my mind and I kind of think to myself, “Hm… I wonder what happened?”
Not an emotion-filled question. Rather a mere passing speculation. Not a wish for what was. Rather an attempt at an objective recollection– a collection of data for use in the present or future.
And occasionally, if I think about it too long, a lot of fear rises and I begin second-guessing myself and all the wonderful happenings of the last four ish (or one ish) months.
But I’m reminded of what my friend told me, which gave and still gives me a lot of peace; it went something like this:
Maybe in a month we’ll talk and we’ll be like no this thing isn’t working out at all. And that’ll be it. And we’ll be okay. Or maybe in a month we’ll talk and things will be going really well. And that’ll be great too. And then maybe in a year we’ll talk and decide that no, things just aren’t working out, and so we’ll end it, and it’ll be sad, but we’ll still be okay. Or maybe in a year we’ll talk and everything will be awesome… and then we’ll really have to talk. (Haha.)
Essentially, it’s a just a reminder to keep a loose hold on everything we have, relationships included. It’s a reminder that God is sovereign and that He is going to work everything out whether we stay together for life or if we ultimately break-up in the end. Truth is, no matter what happens, we WILL be okay and whatever happens will be for His glory and our good!
There is seriously so much more peace when we are able to let go. And we are so much more able to ENJOY the gifts God gives us when we keep a loose hold.
And sure I still worry at times about silly things (like confirming Facebook statuses when one day I might have to unconfirm, or posting pictures I may one day have to delete, or even enjoying the time together too much), but by the grace of God, things are improving and I’m learning to exchange my control/worry for joy/trust/freeing obedience.
And like the previous post highlighted, I’m really starting to enjoy everything so much more!
Anyway, I’m rambling. It’s one of those well I’m already up super late why not stay up super super late kind of moments.
So I’ll end by saying that the Lord is GOOD. So so good. In the blessing and in the pain, He is good and He is faithful and He is deserving of our utmost trust and faith. All praise, glory, and honor be to Him!