One year from now I can listen to “One Year, Six Months” by Yellowcard and it’ll be legit. Always loved that song! Although to be honest, I really do hope that one year from now such things don’t cross my mind haha.

I could lie and say I’m like sooo over it! But that would just be me trying to squash the guilt over things like butter fries (first time since=this month) or mask the embarrassment and hurt of seeing candid, all-too-smiley pictures of him chatting with another girl.

But I must say, I feel like month six was a hump that I finally got over and I can truly truly proclaim that JOY DOES COME IN THE MORNING– I’ve felt the genuine joy and peace of the Lord wash over my life!!!!

Still having trouble letting go, though most of the strong emotions have left. The X/2 formula says six more to go, but I’m willing to acknowledge now that everyone is different and I’m not going to bank on a little formula learned in DTR 101 haha.

A couple pieces of good advice stick out to me from this past month:

1) “Just let go.”

2) “Don’t settle for the past.”

It’s also the first month I’ve begun to (seriously) consider the next time I’ll be in a relationship (if there is one). I’ve heard that it’s like being in a new country. You think you know what’s up, but while there may be similar underlying principles, you’re really starting all over again.

People tell me that the next guy’s going to be better. He won’t be so this. He’ll be more of that.

But I’ve used those phrases before. To be honest, they really are just words. They’re me or the person offering comfort, asking the one who’s hurt to find their comfort in this idea that the next one, oh yes, that next one will be PERFECT.

But we can’t put our comfort in “better,” in the delusion of the next guy’s going to be Mr. Incredible. I mean, who’s to judge that the next person will be better anyway? Better isn’t the word to use. Different. Not necessarily better, just… different.

I can’t pin my hope on better.

All I know is that for a season, I felt God was ordaining my last relationship. And now that season is over. And maybe, if it’s God’s plan, in the future, there will be someone else God wants me to be with (though okay I do hope there is a next person and if there is, well then I kind of hope that next person’s like… IT. For LIFE. Don’t really want to go through all this crap again haha).

So yes. Not placing my hope in better, instead placing my hope in the sovereign Lord and HIS plans for my life.

Six months! Woot woot!

Not going to power through the next six. Just going to be patient, let Him heal all things in HIS time, and try my best every day to walk with God!

Watching: Top Gear (It’s a British auto show I discovered at work! So I kind of like Porsches haha. Bucket list: sit in a 911 one day… :D)

Ach! Sehr schoen!!!!


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