Broken I run to You.
Because You’re the only hope we have.
Men, here’s a life lesson.
When a woman runs, it’s because she wants a man to run after her. To fight for her. To show her she’s worth the trouble. Worth the crap she gives.
A woman runs because she wonders if she’s worth it. Because she’s insecure. Because she’s testing the waters to see if you’ll leave.
Some of that too.
So we run. We run and we shoot venom behind telling you to stay home. To stop calling. To just forget it.
But really, we’re asking, “Am I worth it? Do you really love me that much?”
And the waters are tested. And many of us are left… alone.
But if you do love her. Run after her. Let her know. Hold her until she finally breaks down and you’ll see the anger, the punches, melt into fits of brokenness, sobbing.
Satan has such a stronghold in us. Enough to make us sin terribly and deeply wound the men we are trying to love. We shoot the very venom that paralyzes them, makes them questions themselves, makes them afraid to run after us, afraid to move. They feel helpless because we tell them there’s nothing they can do.
So in the end, what?
Tough luck, boys?? (!!) (??)
In the end, we all need Christ.
Love is broken.
We, in our sin, have corrupted it.
So much so that we either look at it and say why the eff would I want that? or we embrace it, but treat it as hormones and cheap tricks, taking the hits we can get, looking around for the next $2 shot at “love.”
We need God.
Everything about the brokenness and heartache in this world SCREAMS that we NEED God.
We NEED Him.
He is the ONLY hope any of us have.
Only HE can reach into our broken hearts and heal the wounds that are there, destroy the strongholds that have been created, restore us to the image of His Son.
Only HE can heal broken relationships. Piece back together marriages, families, homes.
Only HE can empower men to become the leaders they’re meant to be. Fill them with His Spirit. Make weak men (which no offense, all guys are… and women too for that matter) STRONG.
Only HE can affirm us women the way we so long to be affirmed. Because men will fail us, AS WE WILL FAIL THEM, but God will NEVER abandon us nor forsake us. NEVER. No matter how much crap we give Him. No matter how far we run.
Everything around me tells me not to believe it. But I must. For if I don’t, what hope do I have? What’s keeping me from becoming the one-woman show I’m used to being? That impenetrable wall of ice and feigned interest? Or from going the complete opposite way and just embracing ungodly lust? In my mind changing what is an abhorrent sin into just another way to have fun?
It’s so funny. Everyone wants love. No matter how much we pretend we don’t, we DO. We want to be affirmed. We want to be special. To be something to someone.
But truth is we already ARE. We are already loved. Treasured. Fought for. Affirmed.
There IS Someone who sees us. We are SEEN by the ONE who matters the MOST.
So why doesn’t it make a difference?
Because we just don’t know.
We doubt He really cares for us that much. We doubt His love really is enough. We don’t allow ourselves to feel it, taste it, see it, KNOW it.
I don’t understand how much God loves me. And because of that I strive for the love of man. I LONG for it. I sell my soul for it. My righteousness for it. My security for it. My humanity for it.
Oh God, help me KNOW. Help all of us to know. Help us to see You. Help us to KNOW You. Help us to BELIEVE You.
That YOU are ENOUGH. That You ARE who You say You are. That You can HEAL and REDEEM all things. That You can bring VICTORY to this household.
Oh, Lord, help me to KNOW…
…and please, bring Your lost sheep home.