Sometimes, it’s like that scab you just won’t stop picking. You’re finding it’s healing quite nicely, but for some reason, every once in a while, there’s a part of you that almost wants to rip it off and dive right back into the pain again. Why? I’ve seriously no clue!!!! Maybe it’s because you miss the companionship. Or the perfectionist in you still thinks you can work it out. Or the self-righteous, mythological, good little Christian girl just can’t let go of the fact that you’re not going to marry the first one. Who knows!?!??
But! Again. I must say. Praise God.
I know this season of suffering and loss and heartache won’t last forever (in fact, it’s been almost exactly a year since it started) and I know the tremendous lessons of His goodness and grace that I’ve learned during this time are irreplaceable.
The past few weekends have been so much fun! I’ve gotten to hang out with old friends (Founders Field concert, baking quiche fail), new friends (Hollywood, Roscoe’s), and even a childhood friend (we’ve known each other for 12ish years now!) over late-night yogurt this past Sunday.
This Sunday, as my friend and I shared and kind of debriefed about our semi-recent break-ups, my eyes were opened even more to see God’s GOODNESS and how He really does have a most perfect plan for our lives! I am just amazed at all the little details and how they so perfectly worked out, in her story and in my own as well.
God blesses us in our pain. Why else would He allow us to suffer if it were not to bless us in it!? He reveals to us even more of Himself, His love, His perfect ways.
How can I not give thanks? How can I not enjoy this larger picture of His character? How can I not be awed and amazed at how PERFECT His plan is, especially in light of how silly my own plans are?
God is good. It’s not always easy to trust Him on that one, but HE IS. He really, truly is good.