3:01am. A.k.a. screwed for tomorrow.
So when I was in China, I was super hyped up for coming back to America because of the freedoms we have here. In China, I felt limited by the language barrier and by the rules against openly sharing your faith. I told myself that when I came back, I was going to take advantage of the freedoms afforded by life in America and that I would share the Gospel boldly and with great faith.
But there’s a lag between my head and my heart. Sure I’m thankful to be back, thankful for our freedoms of religion and speech (and better weather and non-spicy food and the overall cleanliness haha), but when I see a door for the Gospel, I back down again. I meekly share a few lines about Jesus and give up easily, forgetting that I’ve been given a spirit of boldness, not of timidity, surrendering to my need to be cool, relevant, unoffensive, p.c.
Give me eyes, O Lord, to see doors for Your Gospel. Give me a spirit of boldness, not timidity. Remind me that the Gospel is everything to me. I want to tell Your story, but at the same time this heart of mine won’t let me.
I will live to tell Your story. But only if You can help me overcome me.