What a week I have ahead of me.
Two papers, one quiz, one final, one midterm… three of which are on the same day. And then I have to go home for Nick’s graduation (excited for it though!) and come back for work the next day.
It’s so rare for me to be stressed about school. Especially this far in advance!
Please please please pray for me if you can. I seriously do not know how I’m going to get through this week with my lazy study habits and penchant for getting sick when stressed. But praise be to God that this time next week I’ll be done! Or I’ll be studying for finals at least.
Gah all this school/interpersonal stress is totally building up though. Bleh.
Anyway, haven’t cried in a while. And honestly, Wednesday, as I did the missions reading, was the first time that I was truly able to exclaim, “Joy DOES come in the morning!” (Even though it was night haha.)
Still going through the whole angry/frustrated phase though. I get so wrapped up in “How could you say ___________ when you would always tell me ____________!???” and then some.
*Sigh. All the “How could you”s battling it out with someone who isn’t even part of my life anymore. Quite silly I must say. For I KNOW that even if those questions were to be answered, there would still be more. Still struggling to submit all these frustrations and emotions to God, acknowledging that I will never have all my questions answered, and that the only thing I really can do to ever be satisfied is fully submit all of these things to Him.
Anyway. This week was certainly easier. And I am so thankful for everything that I’ve been learning, the people that have been reaching out to me, and the God that will never stop pursuing me (even though He knows better than ANYONE the depth of my inadequacy and sin).
And I must say I’m really enjoying having more freedom as well (although having more time to miss that relationship-y companionship and that person come with the territory too). Nevertheless, I really enjoyed meeting up with people this week and especially hanging out after work at D&Bs. So much fun! Stuff I wouldn’t trade for anything.
So in the end, I’m bordering on being super stressed, steeped (at least a bit) in anger and frustration, but praising God that I can even still praise Him given the sinfulness of my heart!
As PDub always says, “Too stressed to be blessed!” Kind of. Sort of. Or at least it’s a start.
Soli Deo Gloria: To God alone be the glory!