How do you go from loving someone so much to loving them with the affection of Christ?
It’s so hard to stop loving someone without simply turning to anger and malice to do it. Anger seems like the quicker, easier, less painful way to let go and I find myself toeing the line as I tire of waking up every day with that dull ache.
But in again considering love, maybe that was the problem. I was loving with fallible, human love. My love wasn’t founded on Christ. It was founded on so many other things. Good things, but still other things.
I realize so much more now that alone, I FAIL. I can’t do anything right. I can’t overcome my sinful heart’s whims and desires. I can’t overcome the dire effects of my insecurities and weaknesses. I can’t overcome the fact that I’m quick to anger, quick to be offended, quick to be hurt. I can’t overcome the sheer manipulative nature of the old self, which so often gains control of my heart.
What I realize now is this: It is only through the blood of Christ that I have any hope to love ANYONE in the way God calls me to.
Alone, I WILL FAIL.
Praise be to God that His love is perfect in everything. Praise be to Him that despite the sin of my heart, He won’t be turned back. And it’s through that very love that my heart will be changed.
Missing him much lately. Breaks my heart to hear that he’s happy (realizing though that I’m not nearly as important as I think I am or thought I was… praise God!), but at the same time, I’m glad to hear it too.
I want my love to flow from the affection of Christ. From a heart of flesh, not of stone. I want my love to be unconditional, to point people to my gracious God, my self-sacrificing Savior.
Thanking God for these trials, His tremendous love, and for the redemption He offers me.
Soli Deo Gloria.