Tear-less day number three.
Won’t be surprised if my two-day streak ends today though.
Not even sure why I’m counting.
Two years ago, today, my life was changed. I used to say something like, “Next to salvation, this is the best thing that ever happened to me!”
Cheesy, I know. But honestly it still is one of the best things that has ever happened.
I learned sooooooo much about myself (namely, how sinful I am!) and about God and about God’s grace and God’s love. I even learned how to cry! I learned what it means to be in a relationship, to humble yourself and try to serve another person. I learned that on my own, I FAIL, and that it’s only through the blood of Christ that I have any hope at all of loving another person. But most of all, I KNOW I was able to see a clearer picture of what it means to be truly, deeply LOVED by Christ.
Don’t know how he did it. Don’t know how He does it.
Twelve days ago, today, my life was changed again. And I know that this very well may be another one of those best things that has ever happened to me.
Again, I’ve learned sooooo much about myself (namely, how sinful I am!) and about God and about God’s grace and God’s love. I’ve realized just how deep my sin is and have been able to see just how much it ruins. But I’ve also been reminded of just how good… no GREAT!! it is to walk with the Lord and how many amazing things He blesses me with every day (His Word, wonderful friends and family, provisions of rides/food/etc.)!
There’s so much that I miss, but in the end, relationships are all about helping the other person grow into a better lover of Christ. For the better part of two years, that was done by being in a relationship, but now it’s being accomplished by both of us being able to separately let go.
Despite things ending with a lot of grace (and I do thank God so much for that), I think there will always be pieces that go unresolved. Questions that won’t be answered. What ifs and maybes and if only I’ds and so on. Now it’s time to start letting go of those things too, trusting that I have a God who redeems and that will make all things new for him and for me too.
I thank God for my trials. I thank Him for this year of heartbreak and struggling.
It’s not cliche. It’s fact. I praise God for He has allowed me to suffer! May it all be used to glorify His name.
For you it has been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for His sake.