What goes up must come down. And that’s okay.
Thankful for two services, naps, chocolates, care packages, printer ink (finally!), best friends that won’t let you cry alone, young adults, pastors who call you and pray for you and text you things like “hang in there!,” shoulders to cry on, secrets (!!!!!), late-night movies, Team China!, flashes, guava juice, iPhone Scrabble, emo songs (remind me that I’m normal… as long as I listen in moderation), worship songs, all the amazing things I’ve been reading in the Bible, God.
Again, when my convictions began to waver, God used others to remind me that He is so much better. Yes, things were a lot of the times pretty dang great, won’t discredit that, but a life filled with Jesus is much much better. And when He fills me first, I can only imagine how much more amazing all His gifts will be!
Been thinking a lot about idols lately. Again, as I was reminded by Piper, the things that steal our love from God are usually not evil things, but really really good ones.
But the thing about these idols is that we start to give them other things, hoping that we’ll get back what we really can only expect from God. When our needs aren’t met (because only God can meet them in the way we desire), we give them more and more and more. But what can an idol do with the friendships you’ve sacrificed, the time you’ve poured in, the money spent, the heartache endured? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Why? The idol is not God! Whether it’s a relationship, school work, my future, or even my looks, these idols can’t give me anything that my heart is truly desiring, UNLESS God is put before them first (in which case they wouldn’t qualify as idols)!
There are places in my heart that I’ve been filling with idols. Those are the places, a good number now empty, that I need to open up to God. Those are the places He needs to fill. Places where He’s knocking, asking if I’ll let Him in.
But part of me still resists. My flesh screams that I want to hold on. I want to go back. And if I can’t go back well then I at least want to keep that part of me closed off and empty or filled with vapors of memories.
O Lord, let me open my heart up to You. You are the true God. The only One who can fill me. You are my rock, my song, my salvation. My shield, my strength, ever present at my right hand. Help me open up to You. I want all of this to grow me. I mean, why would I let this tremendous trial go to waste? Help me cling to YOU and hope in YOU and nothing else, Lord. I want so badly to KNOW You again, to call You my Father, my Lord, my King, and my Friend. Thank You for your love, grace, and understanding, which You again revealed to me today. In Jesus’ Name and for His sake, amen.